Yossi ben Yochanan Ish Yerushalayim diz: Deixe sua casa aberta, [como a casa de nosso pai Abraão, que a paz esteja com ele, que estava aberta nos quatro lados, para que os convidados não precisassem fazer um circuito para encontrar o porta], e os pobres [de Israel] sejam os moradores de sua casa, [—que alguém não contrate servos (gentios) para servi-lo. Melhor que os judeus se beneficiem de suas posses e não da semente do amaldiçoado Canaã.], E não se exagerem no discurso com a mulher. [De "a mulher" em oposição a "uma mulher", deduzimos que eles disseram isso] da própria esposa; quanto mais (isso se aplica) com a esposa do próximo! [Outros explicam que isso se aplica a sua esposa em um estado de niddah, para que ele não venha ao próprio pecado; mas a linguagem do Mishnah parece implicar que mesmo sua esposa em um estado não-niddah é intencional. E assim disseram os sábios (Chagigah 5b) (Amós 4:13): "E ele diz a um homem qual é o seu inverso".— Mesmo conversas supérfluas entre um homem e sua esposa são relatadas a um homem no momento do julgamento (e ele é responsabilizado por isso — a menos que ele a predisponha ao ato de mitzvá [coabitação], como no exemplo de Rav, que conversaria e "brincaria" (com ela) e depois viveria com ela] —de onde derivam os sábios: Quando um homem se envolve em conversas supérfluas com sua esposa, ele traz consigo o mal. [Rabbeinu Hakadosh, que codificou a Mishnah, escreveu: Das palavras deste sábio, que disse: "E não se exagere na fala com a mulher", os sábios ensinaram que sempre que um homem se envolve em conversas supérfluas com sua esposa, ele traz o mal sobre si mesmo. (Eu achei que estava escrito que quando um homem se relaciona com sua esposa: "Foi isso que aconteceu comigo com aquele homem", ela o ensina a provocar conflitos, como no caso de Korach, que relatou a sua esposa que Moisés tinha "levantado os levitas"— a resposta dela o incitou a brigar.) Ou, quando ele diz a ela que seus amigos o humilharam e o humilharam, ela também o despreza em seu coração, e ele traz consigo o mal para si mesmo], e [se preocupando com conversa fiada. ,] ele negligencia o estudo da Torá e, no final, herda Gehinnom.]
Pele Yoetz
The love between a husband and wife must be a passionate one. We will begin with the love of the husband to his wife for the declaration of our Sages (Yevamot 62b) is known, "That the husband is obligated to love his wife as himself and to honor her more than himself." Nonetheless, he may not compromise his service of G-d because of his love for her. The tanna (Avot 1:5) already cautioned, "Do not speak excessively with a woman. This is referring to one's wife, for anyone who does speak excessively with a woman causes evil to himself, is idle from words of Torah, and in the end will inherit Gehinom." Our Sages said (Baba Metzia 59a), "One who goes after the counsel of his wife falls into Gehinom." In light of this condition, every wise man must act with cleverness. As our Sages commented (Sanhedrin 107b), "The left hand should push away as the right hand brings close." The primary love is the love of the soul. It is incumbent upon the husband to admonish his wife with pleasant words, to guide her in the ways of modesty, to distance her from slander, anger, cursing, the mention of G-d's name in vain, and similar things in the Orders of Nashim and Nezikin. He should caution her in regard to the details of mitzvot – especially in the areas of prayer, blessings of benefit from this world, the observance of Shabbat, etc. How good and how pleasant it would be for him to teach her ideas of ethical improvement and to share with her words of the Sages in all matters that are relevant to her and their severity. Then her heart will tremble and she will be even more careful thana man.
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Shemirat HaLashon
It is written (Vayikra 19:16): "Do not go talebearing among your people." This negative commandment includes both rechiluth and lashon hara, as we find in Yerushalmi. [Rechiluth (talebearing)] is one's saying to his friend: "Ploni said this about you" or "did this and this to you." Lashon hara is one's telling his friend something demeaning of another, or other things which cause him (the other) bodily, monetary, or emotional harm.] And this negative commandment also includes lashon hara, as our sages of blessed memory have said in explanation of this verse: "Do not be as a merchant [rochel], who takes his wares from one to another." And it is known that this negative commandment obtains even if what is said is the truth, as all of the commentators have written. For if it is false, it is in the category of motzi shem ra [giving out a bad name], and is far more severe than lashon hara in general. Preceding the aforementioned verse is [Ibid. 15): "…In righteousness shall you judge your neighbor," concerning which our sages of blessed memory have said (Avoth 1:5): "Judge every man in the scales of merit." This also applies to our subject, implying that even if you see something demeaning in him, still you must seek some merit in him, viz.: Perhaps he spoke or did this thing unwittingly, or he did not know that it is forbidden to do or say this thing, or perhaps he has already regretted [what he did or said], and the like. Therefore, Scripture commanded that you not bear tales about him and not tell others the demeaning things that you know about him. All the details of lashon hara and rechiluth, and the greatness of the reward of him who takes care to avoid it, and the punishment for the transgressor are explained in Chafetz Chaim and Shemirath Halashon, Chapter I.
